Today He Leaves.

The time has come. The weeks leading up to this day have been a blur. I wish I could turn back the clock and just stop time. Just for a little while longer.

The gear that was strewn across the house for the past few days, now all has a home in one of various bags. Those bags are sitting in a pile by the door, waiting.

We’re laying in bed, my head on his chest, his shirt clenched tight in my hand. Maybe, just maybe if I hold on tight enough, he won’t have to leave. I take in his scent, trying to memorize it, praying I won’t forget it.

I close my eyes, fighting tears but finally succumb to silent sobs. He holds me tighter. We lay there in silence.

We have to get up now. I really don’t want to. Just five more minutes, please? He holds my hand as we walk downstairs.

Silently, we load the bags in our car, making sure nothing is forgotten. He drives us to the flight line. I hold his hand as tight as I can, not letting go.

We get to the flight line, we unload the bags and take them where they need to be. The mass crowd of people get lost in the daze. Today is the day I’ve been dreading for months.

I hold his hand tight until they call for formation. I hear the soldiers speaking, the chaplain praying, but I can’t tell you a word that was said.

“Kiss your families. Say goodbye.”

This is it. This is the last hug, The last kiss for 9 months.

The soldiers pile into the white buses. He opens the window to wave bye. I blow him a kiss, give him a small smile. I watch as the buses drive away.

I walk back to my car, tears streaming down my face. I drive the lonely, quiet road back home. It seems so much further away now.

I unlock the door to our house. It feels so empty. I crawl into our bed and lay on his pillow. I curl up in a ball and cry.

Tomorrow I’ll be okay. Tomorrow, I’ll be strong.

But today…. Today is the day he left.

 

 

 

 

In case you were wondering what it’s like to be a military spouse, this is it. Deployments, training, time apart.

 

Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas for Your Deployed Spouse

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, you’re trying to figure out just what to send your spouse who’s deployed. You want to send something meaningful and unique, but you’re not sure what. So I’ve compiled a list of some of my favorites!

My Heart Will Guide You Compass 

This is a perfect reminded for your loved one that you will always be at home waiting for him or her to return!

Click here to order.

Love Playlist Letter

Compile a playlist of your favorite love songs. Pick out songs that remind you of things you’ve done together or just songs that make you think of your spouse. Be sure to write down and send the reasons you chose each song. After all, music is the soundtrack of our lives.

Send A Kiss

This is something that is simple and sweet. You put on lipstick and kiss an index card. On the back, write a cute little love note to your spouse and laminate it. Now he can carry it everywhere he goes!

Photo Blanket 

You can put any pictures you choose on a blanket. Many stores will make them for you, such as walmart. Your spouse can cuddle with you every time he or she lays down.

Cake In A Jar

There are so many recipes out there for this. If you search on pinterest, you’ll find a ton. Make it red, pink and white and decorate the jar with hearts and this will be a perfect snack for your loved one.

I hope I was able to give you some unique gift ideas for your SO. Have a lovely day!

Care Package Ideas

Here’s a list of my favorite carepackages that you can send to someone deployed. They’re fun and creative! Keep in mind when it’s time for someone to return home from deployment, they can’t bring a lot of items back.

1.) Life back home. 

This package is a great way to remind the deployed person back home. You can decorate the box with pictures of your kids doing daily activities like brushing their teeth, watching tv, getting ready for bed. You can include a plastic bag filled with lawn clippings (you’d be surprised how much they miss the smell of grass), one of your child’s shirts, pressed flowers, dryer sheets to make their room smell fresh (I’d recommend putting the box in a ziplock bag, the smell can be overwhelming), a pillow case with your perfume on it (you CANNOT send bottles of perfume in the mail).

2.) Hang In There

In case you can’t guess by the title, this is a monkey themed package! Decorate the box with monkeys and bananas. Include a monkey stuffed animal, banana chips, banana flavored candies, banana bread in a jar, monkeys in a barrel, a deck of monkey card, and any other monkey themed item you wish to include.

3.) Birthday Party! 

Is your deployed person’s birthday coming up? Make a birthday themed package! Include confetti, confetti poppers, balloons that they can blow up, party hats, noise makers, cake in a jar, pictures, a birthday card, a disposable camera so they can take pictures of their “party,” party favors, and a gift for them.

4.) Superhero

Make a superhero themed package. Include comics, superhero movies, little figurines, superhero cups and napkins, snacks, superhero coloring pages.

5.)  Disney 

This was my husband’s favorite. Include Disney movies, Disney soundtrack CD’s, Disney stickers, small Disney stuffed animals, Disney figurines, Disney fruit snacks, microwave popcorn, candy.

6.) Movie Night

You can decorate it with movie reels and ticket stubs. Include DVDs, microwave popcorn, candy (be careful with chocolate, it could melt. If you send it, put the chocolate in a plastic ziplock baggie.), drink mixes, snack crackers, fruit snacks, popcorn seasoning.

7.) Season Pass 

Send a baseball cap with his favorite team, recordings of the games he’s missed, baseball cards, peanuts, a mini baseball bat, mini basketball and hoop set (the ones the hook on the door), chips, snack foods.

8.) Sand Storm Survival Kit

Include: eye drops, Q tips, lotion, chapstick, baby wipes, nasal spray, instant coffee, clean socks, lens cloths, clean sheets, dryer sheets, foot powder, foot soaks, large ziplock bags for foot soak, nail clippers, boot inserts

9.) Deployment Food Survival Kit

Napkins, plastic silverware, salt and pepper packets, ketchup and mustard packets, seasonings, BBQ sauce, ranch, small plastic bowls, mayo packets.

10.) Hygiene In A Box

Shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, toothbrush, soap, deodorant, aftershave, toilet paper, shaving cream, razor refills, shower shoes, towels, wash cloth. Put the liquids in plastic bags in case they leak.

11.) Correspondence Box 

Envelopes, pens, paper, disposable camera, address book (filled out already), stickers, markers, colored pencils.

12.) Makes Me Feel Like A Kid Again

Coloring books, colored pencils, cards, small games, play dough, action figures, squirt guns, nerf guns and extra darts, little toys, silly putty.

13.) It’s A Boy/Girl! 

Decorate it with pink/blue, gender reveal card, candy pacifiers, candy cigars, stuffed animal, baby wipes, sour patch kids, sugar babies, cheerios, pink/blue drink mix.

14.) Easter 

Fill it with candy, little Easter toys. When I sent this to my husband, I decorated it with Easter stickers and filled it with Easter grass. Fill plastic eggs with little gifts and hide them in the grass.

15.) Thanksgiving in a box

Decorate with fall colors and turkey. Fill with canned turkey, instant mashed potatoes, instant stuffing, canned corn, canned green beans, gravy in a jar, apple or pumpkin pie, cookies, microwave rice, Apple Cider mix, turkey jerky, homemade bread and candy corn. You can create a “why we’re thankful for you” book. Include a video of everyone wishing him/her a happy Thanksgiving, your children’s hand turkeys.

16.)  Christmas 

Christmas lights, Santa hat, stuffed reindeer, non glass cinnamon scented candles (they can’t burn it but they can still enjoy the smell), fake snow, a small fake tree with little ornaments, small wrapped Christmas gifts, Christmas cards addressed to his or her family for him or her to write in, jingle bells, Christmas CD’s, Christmas DVD’s, Cookies, candy canes, hot cocoa or cider mix.

17.) Fourth Of July Package

Uncle Sam hat, small US flags, confetti poppers, USA shirt, glow sticks, Red, White, Blue Twizzlers, portable fan and batteries, patriotic card, video of fireworks, red, white, blue rice crispie treats, patriotic plastic necklaces, wet wipes, cracker jacks, patriotic trinkets.

18.) Valentine’s Day Package

Sweetheart candies, heart shaped cookies, a stuffed animal, pictures of you both together, Valentine’s cards from your children, Valentine’s card from you, little heart containers filled with little candies, Valentine’s trinket toys, cake in a jar, 52 reasons why I Love You, Jar of Hershey’s Hugs and Kisses.

Respect. It’s Mutual

A military relationship is a special type of relationship. It’s one of those things where you don’t completely understand unless you’ve been there. We experience things that most people would never experience in their lifetime.

Many times, those who are in military relationships tend to befriend others who are also in military relationships. It helps us to feel like we aren’t alone and that there’s someone who actually understand the obstacles that we encounter on a daily basis.

But now there are so many people out there who put down women (or men) who are in these relationships, or “MilSOs.” There are military wives who look down on military girlfriends. My question is why? What makes the wives so different than the girlfriends? Don’t we both face the reality of deployment and training? Don’t we both experience the same things?

Then there’s the whole “dependa” or military spouse bashing that is occurring. I don’t understand why it’s a bad thing for a wife to take pride in the fact that her husband is in the military. It should be seen as a good thing that she’s supportive of his career choice.

We shouldn’t be tearing each other down. We should be supporting one another. Sometimes, we only have each other to turn to through the difficult things that we face.

6 Things Strong Military Couples Do

Military relationships take a special type of person. I often get asked how to survive being married to someone in the military. So here are some things that a strong couple does within their relationship.

1.) Understand the Contract 

Your spouse signed a contract to serve in the military. This means that “the mission comes first.” Your spouse can be called away at any moment and you just have to accept it.`A strong military couple has to be able to adjust to whatever situation the military may throw their way. You must learn to adapt and overcome the fact that sometimes the military will take priority over your personal life.

2.) Trust and Faithfulness 

For any relationship this is very very important. There are so many negative stereotypes that accompany military marriages. Time apart is a common thing in military relationships. This can lead to loneliness. Keep true to your spouse. Don’t give him or her a reason not to trust you.  Also, strong couples don’t go through each other’s phones. Once you start digging through each other’s phones, all trust goes out the window. The military will put distance between you, so it’s important you maintain that trust.

3.) Enjoy Other Interests.

Strong couples know that it’s okay to have their own interests. You don’t have to do everything together. Let him go out with the guys and you can hang out with the girls.

4.) Don’t Become a Social Media Couple. 

We’ve all seen it. Those couples who have to constantly post about their relationship on Facebook. It’s almost like we know what is going on in their lives 24/7. If you have to constantly live on social media telling the world how much you “love” your SO, you probably aren’t maturer enough to even be in a real relationship.

5.) Know When to Leave the Military Life at the Door

It’s normal for the military life to spill over into your everyday life. But a strong military couple knows that their life isn’t ALL ABOUT the military. They know when it’s time to leave the boots and uniform at the door and talk about things that matter in their lives.

6.) Don’t Compare Your Relationship to Other People’s Relationships.

If you start comparing relationships, there will always be a winner or loser. A strong military couple doesn’t focus of the relationships of others. They focus on their own and how to make it stronger.

 

The Truth About Military Relationships

I get asked almost daily what it’s like to be married to a man in the military and why on earth I would do it, since we’re apart so much. I always give a generic answer like “It’s hard at times but I love him.” Well here’s my real explanation.

Being married to someone in the military has been very difficult at times. This lifestyle has brought with it many ups and downs. We’ve spent more time apart than we have together. I’ve cried so many tears and fallen asleep countless nights with only the tears on my pillow to accompany me. I’ve had scary Skype encounters while my husband was deployed and I’ve had to move and unpack and entire house by myself.

It hasn’t all been bad. The military has offered me the opportunity  to make some great friends, travel and learn new things. It’s also taught me that I’m so much stronger than I ever knew I was.

Although it may seem as though the bads outweigh the good, I would never trade this life for anything. You know why? The time we’ve spent apart is never permanent. Our love is so much stronger than it has ever been. I realize how lucky I am to have such a brave man in my life. And I also know that even though deployments seem to last forever, it’s worth it in the end. I get to have my first kiss all over again. And it’s the most amazing, magical feeling in the world to be able to walk hand in hand with my husband again after 9 (or more) months apart. To know that I will be waking up next to him every single day.

Military relationships are not for the faint at heart. There will be lonely nights, Skype dates, and goodbyes. But they are also full of love, passion, support, promise, faith and amazing homecomings. If you allow them to, they will teach you so much.